Discretion vs. Openness: Which Is the Better Bet for Sugar Daters?

Discretion vs. Openness: Which Is the Better Bet for Sugar Daters?

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You don’t have to have been sugaring long to know that life in the sugar bowl can be very different from life as a traditional dater. Not only is sugaring a lot more upfront when it comes to factors like deal-breakers and relationship expectations, but there’s generally a much stronger focus on discretion, as well.

There are lots of reasons why many sugar daddies and sugar babies alike prefer things that way. Of course, this isn’t to say that there aren’t those out there who like to be more open about their love lives. But which is better, and what option should you pursue as a sugar dater?

Why Sugar Daters Prefer Discretion

Most sugar daters had a specific reason for leaving traditional dating behind in favor of sugar dating in the first place. Some were sick of all the unspoken expectations and games that are practically par for the course in the traditional dating world. Others just wanted an easier way to meet high-value people to date instead of continuing to settle for the same old drips they’ve always dated.

But as sensible and practical as sugar dating sounds to sugar daters, it’s still not mainstream. And as is the case with any alternative approach to traditional dating, society at large not only doesn’t understand sugar dating but doesn’t appear to want to understand it. This is one reason most sugar daddies and sugar babies prefer at least some degree of discretion.

Discretion means you don’t have to justify your personal choices to family, friends, or work colleagues who may not understand. Plus, many sugar daddies are high-profile enough that they need to keep their private lives under wraps. So the wealthier and more affluent the sugar daddy, the more likely it is that he’ll want his sugar baby to keep their relationship just between them.

And What About Openness?

Naturally, discretion isn’t going to be the approach of choice for everyone in the sugar bowl. Many sugar daters – especially those who had fewer problems with traditional dating – have zero issues with living their lives right out loud. They’re open, honest, forthright types who tell it like it is and expect others to take them as they come or not at all. They also prefer to be out and proud as far as the fact that they’re sugar daters.

So is there room for people like that in the sugar bowl? Of course, there is. Although there are plenty of sugar relationships that start out right out in the open and stay that way, many others start more discreet and transition into something else later on down the line.

Sugar daters as a group are realistic about their love lives. Most ultimately want the same things traditional daters want – meaningful connections that last and lead to things like marriage, children, and all the rest of it. But they want to wait to find those connections before inviting the rest of the world into the mix.

How to Get the Type of Relationship You Want

At the end of the day, getting what you want out of the sugaring experience is largely about making sure you’re as upfront as possible with your potential sugar matches. Here are some tips for doing that, as well as for making sure you get what you need out of your dating experiences.

Complete Your Sugar Profile

If you’re sugar dating these days, dedicated sugar dating platforms like Sugar Search are an invaluable resource. Not only are they the key to meeting like-minded people you really click with, but they take the guesswork out of meeting people when you’re super busy.

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But your online sugaring experience is only going to be as good as your profile. So be sure to fill yours out completely. And if you have a preference between discreet and upfront relationships, be sure to specify that.

Be Frank With Your Connections

Although it takes some getting used to when you’re brand new to sugar dating, it pays to be as honest as possible as soon as possible when you connect with somebody new. So don’t beat around the bush when it comes to laying your expectations right out there on the table.

Tell your connections what you expect as far as discretion vs. openness in any relationship that might develop. Be honest about why that’s what you want, whether you’re willing to renegotiate that at any point, and so forth.

Communication skills are also crucial, regardless of the type of sugar relationship you pursue. Always nail down the details as far as who will know the nature of your relationship and under what circumstances. And be prepared to renegotiate those terms when and if things ever change in the future. Because people change, as do expectations and relationships. But that’s nothing solid communication can’t fix.